This is simply a variation of weaponized incompetence—we’re not doing exactly what they want (catering to them) so they feign helplessness and ignorance and victimization so we cater to them again! It’s a trap.
Women have been figuring out where we belong since being a 1950s housewife was no longer socially or economically viable; men are also fully capable of redefining their roles as individuals, husbands, boyfriends, and fathers, in the 21st century. But alas…more work they don’t want to do, just like laundry and dishes.
The portrayal of men as victims serves only to perpetuate the power structure that powerful men have enforced with ruthless violence and the distortion of truth for thousands of years. They are their own victims, sacrificing themselves to patriarchal ideology, rather than sacrifice an iota of their power. But I'm certain that eye-at-the-top-of-the-pyramid is not just an idea, but a thought-cancer that lives in the minds of many. It is absolutely fed by the undue influence of social media platforms. Just follow the money, follow the money, follow the money.
There's all this talk about the failure of boys in school, the failures of liberals to tend to the working class, ad nauseum. This is all utter bull shit. They haven't been handed a new script? Whose job, exactly, is it to write the "a new script" for men? And what would that script be? Because it already exists. It's the script of the egalitarian. The men with heart and compassion have been here, demonstrating its worth. Lust for power will destroy the world.
I’ve heard for the past year this argument that society is female-dominated. Why? The Barbie movie from last year (that didn’t even win an Oscar). If that’s true, then why has the US never had a woman president? Thanks for your article!
I have been thinking about this for a while now. Politicians are so hypocritical + overlooking of women's safety when they talk about the importance of marriage/the family unit. Thanks so much for the prompt. Watch this space.
They’re already anticipating this. After the takeover of family courts by the men’s rights movement, Richard Reeves is introducing the topic of Unmarried Fathers’ Rights.
Women graduate college at significantly higher rates than men in every state in America. For every 100 bachelor’s degrees awarded to women, only 74 are awarded to men.
The suicide rate for men is four times that of women. When you’re looking at deaths of despair, which is a more recent phenomenon, 3 out of 4 of those deaths are males.
Nearly half of male teens have never dated, almost double the rate of previous generations.
Thirty years ago a majority of young men had over six friends. Today, it’s half of that. Meanwhile, fifteen percent of young men report having no close friends.
In 2020, nearly half of women reported in a survey that they out-earn or make the same amount as their husband or romantic partner. And in 1960, that was fewer than 4 percent of women.
Ignore all this if you like, but one result of doing so will be the left continuing to lose national elections.
These data are awful, I agree. My question to you is, how would these be improved by reverting to a time when women had fewer rights? And why is the onus on women to find solutions for men to e.g. find more friends? Women being more committed to study is not a sign that women are advantaged, but that they understand the value of access to education more, perhaps because it is only in recent history that they have had access to higher ed.
Women have actually been suggesting that men learn the soft skills that make them better partners and friends, because we can see that men who view the world as a fight for dominance will struggle with loneliness. (It also has the additional benefit that men who don't see their intimate relationships as a battle for control are less likely to harm or murder their partner.)
If men are suffering loneliness and low self-esteem, society has all the tools available to help them help themselves and each other. This isn't something that women can (or should) do for them.
If a man is avoiding opportunities to succeed because doing so puts him adjacent to women who are thriving, I’d say the problem is on his end. It’s weak, not really toxic, to throw in the towel because you can’t be dominant and won’t settle for equality. I can’t see how anyone other than the affected men can take any meaningful action to reverse the current situation. And strengthening themselves begins with getting over this notion of male victimization.
Power makes humans narcissistic. These patriactical arguments have that narcissitic flavour, and invoke the same kind of FOG othere narcissistig abuse does: Fear, Obligation, Guilt. FOG.
The only way to win, is not to play. Go 4B and dont tell a man about it. Wear a fake wedding ring if you must.
Ah yes. The tried-and-true "men versus women" polemic has some steam left in it, doesn't it? Men bad. Women good. Why? The Patriarchy! Seems a bit too simple at this point.
Scripts, cultural scripts, take a very long time to memorize. To become a deep and invisible narrative. Speaking only on the topic of patriarchy here and only U.S focused since that's where I live, certain women's rights (to have a bank account, credit card, birth control etc, not to mention sexual harrassment policies) are not much older than I am, which is to say, under 60 years of age.
So, yes, we have been providing scripts. And I think culturally speaking, we've only just (collectively) begun reading them, let alone memorizing them, or embedding them as what is taken for granted as a truth. Many many women (and I am speaking extremely inclusively here of trans and cis women) have been shouting the lines, helping turn the pages, sharing the scripts, and offering easy access into this new narrative, practically begging partners, family members and husbands.
I don't mean to be negative, though I'm sure this seems that way. I just think it will take hundreds of years of memorization until it becomes like the air we breathe. I'm so fearful we won't get that time. Meanwhile? We are dealing with....waves frantically...everything.
This has only gotten more and more relevant as time has passed. But we should feel sorry for the boys...here's what i tell the sad boys, tie your shoes before you leave the house and love ya mama!
I think the problem is not that "nobody gave them a script" but that the scripts they are offered don't involve the same level of advantage for the same low effort.
Pulling your weight in a household - through the fair division of physical, mental and emotional labour - on top of adulting in the outside world is damn hard work, and thankless to boot... except you have a better chance of connecting as an equal, having times when you can be the vulnerable one who depends on others, having friends that don't expect a relationship that is based in impressing or dominating others.
I really hope men find a way to be men that doesn't rest in competitive hierarchies. It must be lonely if you see life as a ladder where all your relationships are above, below or separate from yourself.
This is simply a variation of weaponized incompetence—we’re not doing exactly what they want (catering to them) so they feign helplessness and ignorance and victimization so we cater to them again! It’s a trap.
Women have been figuring out where we belong since being a 1950s housewife was no longer socially or economically viable; men are also fully capable of redefining their roles as individuals, husbands, boyfriends, and fathers, in the 21st century. But alas…more work they don’t want to do, just like laundry and dishes.
The male victimization is everywhere around us and I am so happy to see an article addressing it, that too in the context of the election.
The portrayal of men as victims serves only to perpetuate the power structure that powerful men have enforced with ruthless violence and the distortion of truth for thousands of years. They are their own victims, sacrificing themselves to patriarchal ideology, rather than sacrifice an iota of their power. But I'm certain that eye-at-the-top-of-the-pyramid is not just an idea, but a thought-cancer that lives in the minds of many. It is absolutely fed by the undue influence of social media platforms. Just follow the money, follow the money, follow the money.
There's all this talk about the failure of boys in school, the failures of liberals to tend to the working class, ad nauseum. This is all utter bull shit. They haven't been handed a new script? Whose job, exactly, is it to write the "a new script" for men? And what would that script be? Because it already exists. It's the script of the egalitarian. The men with heart and compassion have been here, demonstrating its worth. Lust for power will destroy the world.
Thanks for the fire in your words.
I’ve heard for the past year this argument that society is female-dominated. Why? The Barbie movie from last year (that didn’t even win an Oscar). If that’s true, then why has the US never had a woman president? Thanks for your article!
This is my favorite of all post election commentaries
Could you write something about how we can built a society centered around single moms? Because that will be the future… in case men don’t adapt.
I have been thinking about this for a while now. Politicians are so hypocritical + overlooking of women's safety when they talk about the importance of marriage/the family unit. Thanks so much for the prompt. Watch this space.
They’re already anticipating this. After the takeover of family courts by the men’s rights movement, Richard Reeves is introducing the topic of Unmarried Fathers’ Rights.
We have a society centered around single moms now.
How??
Seventy seven fire emojis
Hear hear 👏👏👏
What a great article!!! Thank you!
👏👏👏👏👏
A look at the data on how men are doing:
Women graduate college at significantly higher rates than men in every state in America. For every 100 bachelor’s degrees awarded to women, only 74 are awarded to men.
The suicide rate for men is four times that of women. When you’re looking at deaths of despair, which is a more recent phenomenon, 3 out of 4 of those deaths are males.
Nearly half of male teens have never dated, almost double the rate of previous generations.
Thirty years ago a majority of young men had over six friends. Today, it’s half of that. Meanwhile, fifteen percent of young men report having no close friends.
In 2020, nearly half of women reported in a survey that they out-earn or make the same amount as their husband or romantic partner. And in 1960, that was fewer than 4 percent of women.
Ignore all this if you like, but one result of doing so will be the left continuing to lose national elections.
These data are awful, I agree. My question to you is, how would these be improved by reverting to a time when women had fewer rights? And why is the onus on women to find solutions for men to e.g. find more friends? Women being more committed to study is not a sign that women are advantaged, but that they understand the value of access to education more, perhaps because it is only in recent history that they have had access to higher ed.
Women have actually been suggesting that men learn the soft skills that make them better partners and friends, because we can see that men who view the world as a fight for dominance will struggle with loneliness. (It also has the additional benefit that men who don't see their intimate relationships as a battle for control are less likely to harm or murder their partner.)
If men are suffering loneliness and low self-esteem, society has all the tools available to help them help themselves and each other. This isn't something that women can (or should) do for them.
I read an excellent article about your first point, the falling rate of college enrollment among males:
https://open.substack.com/pub/celestemdavis/p/why-boys-dont-go-to-college?r=h12a6&utm_medium=ios
If a man is avoiding opportunities to succeed because doing so puts him adjacent to women who are thriving, I’d say the problem is on his end. It’s weak, not really toxic, to throw in the towel because you can’t be dominant and won’t settle for equality. I can’t see how anyone other than the affected men can take any meaningful action to reverse the current situation. And strengthening themselves begins with getting over this notion of male victimization.
Power makes humans narcissistic. These patriactical arguments have that narcissitic flavour, and invoke the same kind of FOG othere narcissistig abuse does: Fear, Obligation, Guilt. FOG.
The only way to win, is not to play. Go 4B and dont tell a man about it. Wear a fake wedding ring if you must.
Ah yes. The tried-and-true "men versus women" polemic has some steam left in it, doesn't it? Men bad. Women good. Why? The Patriarchy! Seems a bit too simple at this point.
Yeah and your comment was pure Shakespeare.
Scripts, cultural scripts, take a very long time to memorize. To become a deep and invisible narrative. Speaking only on the topic of patriarchy here and only U.S focused since that's where I live, certain women's rights (to have a bank account, credit card, birth control etc, not to mention sexual harrassment policies) are not much older than I am, which is to say, under 60 years of age.
So, yes, we have been providing scripts. And I think culturally speaking, we've only just (collectively) begun reading them, let alone memorizing them, or embedding them as what is taken for granted as a truth. Many many women (and I am speaking extremely inclusively here of trans and cis women) have been shouting the lines, helping turn the pages, sharing the scripts, and offering easy access into this new narrative, practically begging partners, family members and husbands.
I don't mean to be negative, though I'm sure this seems that way. I just think it will take hundreds of years of memorization until it becomes like the air we breathe. I'm so fearful we won't get that time. Meanwhile? We are dealing with....waves frantically...everything.
This has only gotten more and more relevant as time has passed. But we should feel sorry for the boys...here's what i tell the sad boys, tie your shoes before you leave the house and love ya mama!
I think the problem is not that "nobody gave them a script" but that the scripts they are offered don't involve the same level of advantage for the same low effort.
Pulling your weight in a household - through the fair division of physical, mental and emotional labour - on top of adulting in the outside world is damn hard work, and thankless to boot... except you have a better chance of connecting as an equal, having times when you can be the vulnerable one who depends on others, having friends that don't expect a relationship that is based in impressing or dominating others.
I really hope men find a way to be men that doesn't rest in competitive hierarchies. It must be lonely if you see life as a ladder where all your relationships are above, below or separate from yourself.